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Today is one of those days I would love to sit on a park bench and just.. people watch. Not to criticize, but simply to observe and let my mind wonder. Human behavior is completely captivating to me-- reason why I studied psychology. Besides, who wouldn't want to breathe in nature in all its beauty, soak in the sun and the joy that floats in the air? The only thing missing in this almost perfect picture is an alluring stranger that would be compelled to take a seat next to me. Why not?
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“I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love, and I’ll return to a person I love..." -Carrie Gereau
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"Lives, like money, are spent. What are you buying with yours?" -Roy H. Williams 
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They have two purposes. One: keeps the unwanted out. (The other though is many times overlooked.) Two: keeps the needed from coming in. So why do we put up walls? Well often times we put up these walls as a defense mechanism, to aid us. To have control. Maybe there are things going on around us and we put a wall up because we just don't want to deal with it. Maybe our lives are a complete mess and putting up a wall will keep people from noticing what's really going on inside. Careful. Because guess what, walls usually come with a ceiling... Now you're all caged in, trapped. Just how you wanted to be. Not. What you wanted was control. Control over what you wanted coming in, over what you wanted to deal with, over what you wanted people to see. Control over your life. Turns out you just created your very own little prison. Very ideal. Not exactly. Truth is we need to brings those walls down, because in addition to being caged, you're being restricted, impeded, kept from growing... from being free. Hand over the control of your life to God, who's perfectly apt for the job. Let's just put it this way, He won't make you a prisoner, Mr/Miss IGotThis. He can handle it.
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I wish, I wish...with all my heart I could be there this very moment.. 
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Who is Jesus? Who is Jesus to you? Think about it. If you don't have a quick answer you might have to wonder about how strong a [relationship] you have with Him.
Often times when people are asked about their faith, what it means to them, they turn to answers their parents, their church leaders or to something somebody once said or might have said. To me the problem has become obvious only recently. I got a little story for ya: There's this one boy who is completely captivated by his girl; which inspires him to let her know exactly how he feels about her. He therefore becomes entirely engrossed in writing a romantic letter, where he sincerely expresses his love and everything she means to him. Fair enough. Well, there's this other boy who also decides to write a love message to his special girl. However, instead of digging his insides and earnestly contemplating what this one girl means to him, he decides to simply "borrow" some lines from the letter the first boy wrote, which was meant for one recipient only. Every line in that letter carried a pureness and genuineness that cannot be directed or conveyed to or by anyone else. Tsk Tsk.
Nobody wants dirty second-hands, nor feigned hollow words. Hence you have to individually search your heart, dive into the core of your self and really ponder on your unique bond/relationship with God. Once that bond is tight and lucid I believe you will be able to veraciously answer "Who is Jesus?" for yourself without falling back on answers made by others. You'll have with you personal evidence. Indubitably knowing what Jesus is to you is like knowing you have a secret weapon or a special gift that only a few people actually seek to have--it's comforting and oh so sweet.
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I'm tearing up at the seams.
Slowly coming apart.
Losing my composure.
My controlled-chaos has now
began to spill...
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Do you ever wonder as you're driving where the other cars in the street are heading? I do. I just realized that may make me odd, but the unknown stimulates my curiosity. Did they wake up knowing exactly what way they were going stepping out their house? Have they deviated from their initial plan? What song are they listening to? Are they as happy as they seem? Have they wondered about their own lives? Have they changed their course so much that they can't even remember where they were going or what direction they're on? Hopefully you don't ever find yourself staring into the rear-view mirror regretting the path you decided to take and where you've ended up. And if that's the case, that you can find your way home. Think of this as your car representing your life. Don't lose yourself in the traffic or in this world full of billboards (distractions/temptations).
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Hitting the grind again and getting back in shape sure is a big hassle..or should I say a big hustle! And painful! But it must be done.
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It's pretty incredible how certain songs have the ability to bring you back to a specific era in your life. Walk into a store, turn on the radio, pop a random mix CD and music will be there...like subtle reminders of what you once lived. Clearly life is not biased to the good times, and therefore songs may carry messages from the past that sting. Songs can also instigate sudden reminiscing and flashbacks that are not necessarily pleasant or wanted. Time engraves feelings and thoughts of that time to every word in that song whether they make you smile or cringe. Every time a song has the power to transport me in time and bring along all those exact feelings for a ride, I'm caught dumbfounded, bewildered, startled, baffled, dazed, stumped... because the lyrics of those songs encouraged me, put into words what was going on in my heart, helped me bash a boy til I had enough or to elaborate the blissful butterflies I felt. In essence, songs could very much be like Sour Patch Kids candies-- sour at first, but with time become sweet memories.
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Ever think about how sometimes we get introduced to people but never really get to know the person... so all you do is remember maybe their name or maybe just their face. Months even years may go by without seeing them again. And when you do end up coming across that person again, it's sorta like you need a reintroduction because so long a time has gone by that you don't actually remember them. I believe that's what happens many times with our relationship with Jesus. Maybe we get introduced to Him once or we hear about Him, but never really build a friendship with Him. Perhaps for others you did have that relationship with Him, were best friends, talked everyday and completely in sync, but then you somehow drifted apart. Those cloudy days came rolling in and you lost contact. So then what? You feel like you're almost strangers and the coming back around seems difficult. Sorta like when dialing those 7 numbers to call a friend you haven't made the time to call in awhile.. the feeling of guilt for letting so much time gone by overshadows the want to reconnect. Don't let that stop you from reaching out. Because thank God for reintroductions! The only glitch to these reintroductions is that just like first impressions, you gotta make them last. Therefore, the second time around you cannot let the opportunity of having that intimacy with Him slip away, again. Build a firm and tight bond with God before the initial curiosity fades away.
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Although I've yet to find my life partner, my other half, my prince charming, my love...I repeatedly get confirmations that God will provide and knows our heart's desires. He knows my every thought even before I think it. He's that awesome. All I gotta do is TRUST! This past weekend God truly demonstrated this to one of my best friends. When she believed there was no decent man left, God showed her otherwise. This guy has proven to be all she ever wanted and more! I wholeheartedly believe one day I'll have my turn on the merry-go-round and find the man God has designed for me that goes beyond my imagination. As I think about this, I remember I once told someone that I had long seen people's lives get started, families, careers and I feel like a kid waiting in line to ride the roller coaster. And when I've gotten impatient I can hear God telling me, "Iris, wait your turn." So I've stopped my fidgeting.
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Valentine's is right around the corner and while some of you are running around ecstatic and feeling love you simply can't retain inside that it begins to glow out of your pores...and people around you can't help but to join in on your contagious happiness, for others however, this day does not bring such pretty feelings. This is for you. No moping about how this holiday makes you more aware of your loneliness and singleness, trust me..you are not alone. Hang in there.
For the past couple of months I've been clinging to that verse for dear life. I graduated from Texas A&M in May, and like many college graduates I wasn't all that prepared to swim in the real world. I packed up my apartment and left The Station with a minimal idea of what to expect returning to what once was my home. While adjusting to the change, I sincerely began to lose myself. I have no idea how or why, but my mind started to get clouded with doubt and fear. Before I realized it, my confidence was depleted and I was found discouraged. However, thankfully I never hit empty because I know my faith does not lie on myself...but on something much bigger. My life is in God's hands, and I need not be afraid of failing. His plans fill me with hope..and a future.
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Park bench
Today is one of those days I would love to sit on a park bench and just.. people watch. Not to criticize, but simply to observe and let my mind wonder. Human behavior is completely captivating to me-- reason why I studied psychology. Besides, who wouldn't want to breathe in nature in all its beauty, soak in the sun and the joy that floats in the air? The only thing missing in this almost perfect picture is an alluring stranger that would be compelled to take a seat next to me. Why not?
Someday..
For mom.
I'm beyond blessed for God giving me such a loving, strong, selfless and God fearing woman as a mom. I'll be forever grateful. She has been my sun when my days were gray, and my rock in my weakest times. To her I owe every hour and dollar she spent on me, instead of on her. For she would undoubtedly meet our needs before her own. She came second in her mind. Always and still. Without reproach or regret. Our happiness has become her happiness. Our accomplishments have become her own. She would take our troubles and make them her own. Climbing any mountain or swimming any sea to see them gone, if that's what it took. And as if that weren't enough, she has given me and my siblings the most precious and key gift of all-- introducing us to Jesus Christ. Teaching 
us to live by faith and according to His word. Leading the way in our walk with God. That to me, will be the wealthiest inheritance anybody could receive...
and I owe that to her.
us to live by faith and according to His word. Leading the way in our walk with God. That to me, will be the wealthiest inheritance anybody could receive...and I owe that to her.
Thank you, mom.
I love you more than
you will ever know.
I love you more than
you will ever know.
my cup runneth over
My life may appear lacking or deficient in various areas to the onlooker's naked eye, but in areas the eye cannot meet, my life is rich and plentiful.
Do not be deceived.
Spent
Doesn't this quote make you take a step back and reflect on how you're living or wasting your life? People get swallowed up by the system of "living life to the fullest" and "life is short" mottoes that they don't even factor in what will happen when their embellished lives come to an end- when the money runs out. What then? What about eternity, buddy? Yeah, that's infinitely longer than life alone. In fact, if anything, life is nothing but a mere fraction of it. I rather sacrifice my entire life here on Earth living for God, than to inebriate in worldly pleasures and spend a millisecond in Hell. While many are buying momentary happiness, empty love and fake beauty, I'm investing mine to make sure others can make the trip. Because truth is, the trip to Heaven has already been paid for by Jesus, which means you can still make the cut. All you gotta do is deny yourself from wasting money on all the wrong places that only give you false and temporary rewards.
Buy yourself the crown of salvation. Invest.
Walls
They have two purposes. One: keeps the unwanted out. (The other though is many times overlooked.) Two: keeps the needed from coming in. So why do we put up walls? Well often times we put up these walls as a defense mechanism, to aid us. To have control. Maybe there are things going on around us and we put a wall up because we just don't want to deal with it. Maybe our lives are a complete mess and putting up a wall will keep people from noticing what's really going on inside. Careful. Because guess what, walls usually come with a ceiling... Now you're all caged in, trapped. Just how you wanted to be. Not. What you wanted was control. Control over what you wanted coming in, over what you wanted to deal with, over what you wanted people to see. Control over your life. Turns out you just created your very own little prison. Very ideal. Not exactly. Truth is we need to brings those walls down, because in addition to being caged, you're being restricted, impeded, kept from growing... from being free. Hand over the control of your life to God, who's perfectly apt for the job. Let's just put it this way, He won't make you a prisoner, Mr/Miss IGotThis. He can handle it.
Coffeeshop Love
Whilst breathing in
the warm aroma of
a smooth cup of coffee,
the perfect company will
woo me and warm my heart.
Jesus?
Who is Jesus? Who is Jesus to you? Think about it. If you don't have a quick answer you might have to wonder about how strong a [relationship] you have with Him. Often times when people are asked about their faith, what it means to them, they turn to answers their parents, their church leaders or to something somebody once said or might have said. To me the problem has become obvious only recently. I got a little story for ya: There's this one boy who is completely captivated by his girl; which inspires him to let her know exactly how he feels about her. He therefore becomes entirely engrossed in writing a romantic letter, where he sincerely expresses his love and everything she means to him. Fair enough. Well, there's this other boy who also decides to write a love message to his special girl. However, instead of digging his insides and earnestly contemplating what this one girl means to him, he decides to simply "borrow" some lines from the letter the first boy wrote, which was meant for one recipient only. Every line in that letter carried a pureness and genuineness that cannot be directed or conveyed to or by anyone else. Tsk Tsk.
Nobody wants dirty second-hands, nor feigned hollow words. Hence you have to individually search your heart, dive into the core of your self and really ponder on your unique bond/relationship with God. Once that bond is tight and lucid I believe you will be able to veraciously answer "Who is Jesus?" for yourself without falling back on answers made by others. You'll have with you personal evidence. Indubitably knowing what Jesus is to you is like knowing you have a secret weapon or a special gift that only a few people actually seek to have--it's comforting and oh so sweet.
Torn seams
I'm tearing up at the seams.
Slowly coming apart.
Losing my composure.
My controlled-chaos has now
began to spill...
Cars & Streets
Do you ever wonder as you're driving where the other cars in the street are heading? I do. I just realized that may make me odd, but the unknown stimulates my curiosity. Did they wake up knowing exactly what way they were going stepping out their house? Have they deviated from their initial plan? What song are they listening to? Are they as happy as they seem? Have they wondered about their own lives? Have they changed their course so much that they can't even remember where they were going or what direction they're on? Hopefully you don't ever find yourself staring into the rear-view mirror regretting the path you decided to take and where you've ended up. And if that's the case, that you can find your way home. Think of this as your car representing your life. Don't lose yourself in the traffic or in this world full of billboards (distractions/temptations).
Hassle
Hitting the grind again and getting back in shape sure is a big hassle..or should I say a big hustle! And painful! But it must be done.
Sour Patch Songs
It's pretty incredible how certain songs have the ability to bring you back to a specific era in your life. Walk into a store, turn on the radio, pop a random mix CD and music will be there...like subtle reminders of what you once lived. Clearly life is not biased to the good times, and therefore songs may carry messages from the past that sting. Songs can also instigate sudden reminiscing and flashbacks that are not necessarily pleasant or wanted. Time engraves feelings and thoughts of that time to every word in that song whether they make you smile or cringe. Every time a song has the power to transport me in time and bring along all those exact feelings for a ride, I'm caught dumbfounded, bewildered, startled, baffled, dazed, stumped... because the lyrics of those songs encouraged me, put into words what was going on in my heart, helped me bash a boy til I had enough or to elaborate the blissful butterflies I felt. In essence, songs could very much be like Sour Patch Kids candies-- sour at first, but with time become sweet memories.
Introductions
Ever think about how sometimes we get introduced to people but never really get to know the person... so all you do is remember maybe their name or maybe just their face. Months even years may go by without seeing them again. And when you do end up coming across that person again, it's sorta like you need a reintroduction because so long a time has gone by that you don't actually remember them. I believe that's what happens many times with our relationship with Jesus. Maybe we get introduced to Him once or we hear about Him, but never really build a friendship with Him. Perhaps for others you did have that relationship with Him, were best friends, talked everyday and completely in sync, but then you somehow drifted apart. Those cloudy days came rolling in and you lost contact. So then what? You feel like you're almost strangers and the coming back around seems difficult. Sorta like when dialing those 7 numbers to call a friend you haven't made the time to call in awhile.. the feeling of guilt for letting so much time gone by overshadows the want to reconnect. Don't let that stop you from reaching out. Because thank God for reintroductions! The only glitch to these reintroductions is that just like first impressions, you gotta make them last. Therefore, the second time around you cannot let the opportunity of having that intimacy with Him slip away, again. Build a firm and tight bond with God before the initial curiosity fades away.
Waiting my turn
Although I've yet to find my life partner, my other half, my prince charming, my love...I repeatedly get confirmations that God will provide and knows our heart's desires. He knows my every thought even before I think it. He's that awesome. All I gotta do is TRUST! This past weekend God truly demonstrated this to one of my best friends. When she believed there was no decent man left, God showed her otherwise. This guy has proven to be all she ever wanted and more! I wholeheartedly believe one day I'll have my turn on the merry-go-round and find the man God has designed for me that goes beyond my imagination. As I think about this, I remember I once told someone that I had long seen people's lives get started, families, careers and I feel like a kid waiting in line to ride the roller coaster. And when I've gotten impatient I can hear God telling me, "Iris, wait your turn." So I've stopped my fidgeting.
Loved
Valentine's is right around the corner and while some of you are running around ecstatic and feeling love you simply can't retain inside that it begins to glow out of your pores...and people around you can't help but to join in on your contagious happiness, for others however, this day does not bring such pretty feelings. This is for you. No moping about how this holiday makes you more aware of your loneliness and singleness, trust me..you are not alone. Hang in there.
"If nothing, may Valentine's Day be a reminder that you are lovely, worthy of love and worthy to be loved..because you already are loved by the one who is love."
Withdrawals
They come in different forms and magnitudes. For example, I can state that I'm officially addicted to Dr. Pepper. Because although I've tried several times before to quit it, it's just. not. possible. I went three days without it and had headaches that lasted..well, til I drank some again. I've discovered though, that I can substitute a Dr. Pepper for any other form of caffeine, like coffee or another type of soft drink, and I'll be fine. Others, however, are not that easy to replace... such as friendships. And these cause the worst withdrawals. Yes, worse than denying your favorite drink, because these withdrawals take place in the heart. You see every friendship you have provides something that you cannot quite find in your other ones, so exchanging or replacing is out of the question. But when prolonged absence is inevitable, these very specific interactions are missed. You can't simply take a group of people and place them in the spot the prior one had, and expect them to provide the exact same relationship you had with the former one. Every friendship is special in their own way. However, this is not about exchanging or substituting, this is about dealing with the absence of something you had in given quantities before. Withdrawals. I would rather take the trifling headache caused by consuming no Dr. Pepper, than heartache caused by missing someone. I miss someone. I missed someone yesterday. And I'll miss someone tomorrow. In fact, I miss my college friends so terribly much.
Haiti
Bulls-eye
Unintentionally I bumped into this little piece. A thought one of my friends wrote not too long ago which reinforces what I wrote on my last post.
"Great Shot! Just the wrong target." -Pastor Jeffrey JohnsonCouldn't have said any better. Ladies, you don't have to rush into something you're not ready just because you feel like you're running out of time or because you feel like you can't do any better. The more time you put into aiming your shot, the closer you'll get to bulls-eye.
-- As I ponder that quote I wonder how many of us made a great shot when we picked a mate or a career, only to find out we hit the wrong target! You were aiming for Boaz but was misdirected and ended up settling with Bozo. So instead of going home with a gold medal, you have a constellation prize. Congratulations I think. :-) --The key to being a good sniper is having a good spotter... Be patient and wait for their instructions...
Wait 5 mins
How to make people, friends to be more specific, realize how much they're worth? It irritates me to no end to see people I care about have such low standards. Mainly when it comes to men. You are beautiful, intelligent caring women... why settle for less than what you can offer? Why waste time with some loser when there's something better? I get it. People want to feel loved, need affection and tend to want attention. But let's be honest, if you knew that God had someone for us just in the next room, specifically for us, but wasn't going to show up til 5 minutes later...wouldn't you wait those 5 minutes and prepare yourself for him rather than vainly continue to bat your eyelashes at Mr. Nose-picker? God wants to give us only the best. However, sometimes that means waiting 5 more minutes. For His timing. The man for you and me will be worth the wait.. No need to lower the bar in the meantime.
Plans
"I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
For the past couple of months I've been clinging to that verse for dear life. I graduated from Texas A&M in May, and like many college graduates I wasn't all that prepared to swim in the real world. I packed up my apartment and left The Station with a minimal idea of what to expect returning to what once was my home. While adjusting to the change, I sincerely began to lose myself. I have no idea how or why, but my mind started to get clouded with doubt and fear. Before I realized it, my confidence was depleted and I was found discouraged. However, thankfully I never hit empty because I know my faith does not lie on myself...but on something much bigger. My life is in God's hands, and I need not be afraid of failing. His plans fill me with hope..and a future.
Constant
Before I began writing about life at the present moment, I wanted to first share with you something I learned when I was a college student. Those college years are pivotal to growing up. At least for me they were. Although a lot of learning was taking place during lectures, plenty of other lessons were taking place in my heart. This period of my life taught me what truly gave meaning to life. That it didn't matter how many exams I aced, how many mistakes were on my papers, how many friends let me down, how many times I fell or how many times I pulled through, or how many days I felt lonely, how many times my heart was broken or ached for home... ONE thing. ONE thing stayed constant. I had ONE guarantee. Always. The rest was just gravy. And that ONE thing was and will forever be--GOD. When my world was stress-fully chaotic or would come crumbling down, He alone was still standing there in the midst, in the core of any situation, with His hand stretched out...and I was home again. What once was a mere epiphany has thus changed my life. God is bigger than ourselves. Bigger than any problem, heartache or letdown. He's our constant.
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